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cut the crap, i want to flip the bird.
vent, bitch, and moan flipping a digital, written bird.
you're digging on the shit tag.
id#17bdcc ♦ 10811 (3099)
 
I'll fucking shit on your floor, I don't even care.
1 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#baa964 ♦ 17115 (4024)
 
You know why you don't get any relaxation or alone time? It's because your time management skills fucking SUCK. Yes, I understand you've got to work long hours on some days, but that's no fucking excuse. You get weekends and public holidays off 100% of the time. There are days you get home early, and you have access to vacation days. So, what do you do with extra time that comes your way? You find more fucking work to do! And some of it is massive projects you leap at without a thought. Then, you get pissy and miserable when you don't get any time to relax because you have to work. Guess fucking what? Not our fault!

You've got family living with you, for fuck's sake! If you need help, how about you ask them for some? And no, I don't mean pulling this passive-aggressive martyr hinting shit. We've been sick of that for a long time now. No one here can read your mind, so stop fucking expecting us to! When you put on a happy face and act as if things are fine, how are we supposed to know what you want? If you need help, you can damned well ask for it. Don't play mind games. Don't be passive-aggressive. SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!

And stop bitching us out over lateness, procrastination, or whatever the fuck else you're displeased with. You're guilty as all hell of doing that shit yourself! For someone who bitches at us about being late and putting things off, you sure as fuck don't lead by example. You're almost always late for work. You put things off until the very last minute, then freak out when it you can't rush them to completion. And if it wasn't for me being a jobless mooch (you want to say it; I know), you wouldn't even get some of that shit done.

What are those words, again? Oh, yeah. Grow the fuck up.
1 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
sorry guy.
id#854e25 ♦ 16551 (3933)
 
Dear [REJECTED APPLICANT NAME HERE],

Thank you for attending our interview at the ass-crack of dawn on a day you have to work, especially in light of our unwillingness to reschedule to a more convenient time for you. Unfortunately, at this time you do not meet the minimum requirements for the position, noted below.

Psychopathy - You are not a certified sociopath who would stab his coworker or even his own mother in the back for personal gain. This is an undesirable trait in today's competitive work environment.

Con Artistry - You do not have the ability to convincingly lie in order to answer questions irrelevant to the position asked during the interview, nor to convince us that it would be worth the effort to take time out from our busy daily schedule of playing Farmville and masturbating to Fox News to fill out a form that would enable you to work a shift where we would rarely interact anyway. Nor did you come across to us as someone who would be fun to go drinking with on a nightly basis. This is an undesirable trait in our office politics.

Legal Record - Your legal record is sickeningly clean, not even so much as a ticket for jaywalking, and that your credit record is equally spotless. This is problematic because it indicates that you do not spend every dime to your name on weekly cocaine, mushrooms, marijuana, ice, heroin and/or alcoholic benders. This is detrimental to office politics as our sole management tactic is getting dusted out of our minds, writing down ideas on the corkboard and throwing a dart to find out the way in which we'll screw over our employees next. Being equally inebriated and hopelessly addicted to numerous illegal substances will ensure that you are less likely to object to this method of management.

Minimum 2 Years Experience - You lack the required experience for the position, despite it being listed as an entry level position with no experience required. As stated, we simply cannot be bothered to take time out of our busy schedule of playing Farmville and sitting through a meeting every other week in order to assign someone to train you in the highly complex art of pushing a broom. After all, we kissed mountains of ass and knifed dozens of people in the back to get to our comfy thrones in middle management, what would people think if they saw us with a broom in our hands?

Social Security Number - You failed to include this on your application. Whilst it is not a legal requirement to include this on a job application, it is a requirement that you include it on our online electronic application, conveniently designed to bypass said law via a convenient loophole, in order to pass the first page. This enables us to open several lines of credit in your name for self-indulgent Amazon.com shopping sprees. In the event such activities are reported to the proper authorities, we can then conveniently falsify network logs in order to shift the blame onto one of the office's hired patsies who will take the fall in our stead. This is the reason why we never have a menial entry level office job listed as "occupied" for longer than the span of two months.

Desired Wage - You not only listed it above our country's appallingly low minimum wage, but more than 0.25 cents above because, quote unquote, "you do not desire to live off of McDonalds nor reside in a garbage can". This shows a neglectful attitude toward our company's ideals and a distinct lack of respect for the United States of America, as paying anything resembling a livable wage would cause our workers to live past the age of thirty-five. This in turn would drive up the unemployment rate as new workers enter the work force, overpopulate the country, cause more people to request unemployment insurance, and lead us to economic collapse. It would also ensure personal expenditures for us, your almighty overlords, during our daily controlled substance benders, as already mentioned.

Thank you for applying with Fucksville Inc., and have a nice day.

- Dipshit Williams
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#7f5216 ♦ 17255 (4051)
 
Just another pile of motherfucking shit...

"Bullying is unacceptable. We must stop it! But, don't stand up to a bully, because that makes you a horrible person who needs to be shit on! You should talk things out nicely with bullies, or ignore them! And really, if you can't take hurtful insults, you're just a wimpy little pussy who needs to man up." What the fuck is this bullshit?! People aren't allowed to fight back, protect themselves or have feelings anymore? I guess not, because that stuff is BAD. It's far better to let people act like assholes and give them a slap on the wrist for it!

"Life isn't fair. But, that's okay! Just file bullshit complaints or lawsuits, and be an asshole until you get what you want! We'll cater to the incompetent, ignorant, and idiotic!" This shit happens way too often. Employee couldn't read your mind when you specifically wanted him to? Get him fired because "he was mean to you." Spill a hot drink on yourself because you decided to hold it in your lap while you drove? Sue the company who gave you the drink because "it was too hot." Your kids saw BAD SHIT in a videogame because you were too "busy" to check the rating? Whine and bitch endlessly about how "bad and unhealthy" videogames are!

"If you're making record profits, that's not enough! Make sure you screw your employees and customers to make more money." Some companies actually believe minimum wage is sufficient, and anyone who needs more doesn't know how to budget properly. Some companies also believe they can churn out nothing but crap without pissing people off. I think these companies can go fuck themselves! What next? Employees don't need vacation time and customers don't matter at all? Fuck that!

The fuck is this world coming to?
2 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#415dd8 ♦ 7752 (2357)
 
Comdata, It's neat you have a service that puts my paychecks on a handy debit card, but when you charge me a dollar and thirty cents simply because I punched my pin number in wrong, that's grounds for a FULL ON FUCKING WAR. I WILL END YOU. GO TO HELL YOU GREASY FUCKING PRICKS. YOU ARE THE WORST KIND OF WALKING HUMAN SHITS.
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#5c32d3 ♦ 7240 (2018)
 
Can all the big name game companies kindly get a clue and stop introducing some proprietary always on DRM/download manager client for all their games? Nobody gives a shit about collecting EA achievements or Ubisoft points or whatever the fuck, especially when we get kicked out of our games for having our connection drop for half a second or locked out of our account forever for having a credit card charge declined or telling a forum troll to go fuck himself. Get your shit on Steam or GOG or don't bother with it at all.
2 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#0c091c ♦ 8145 (2120)
 
You want to be liked by people? You don't want them to get pissed off at you? Well, here are some tips, dumbshit!

STOP FUCKING CHEATING AND CHEAPING OUT IN GAMES! I swear, you are one of the worst people to game with. You seem to think you're entitled to winning all the time, and will do absolutely anything to win. You mark cards, you use broken combos/abilities, you add extra points to stats, and you rely on trade servers and inventory editors to hand things to you. Your worst shit comes out during free-form roleplaying and writing, though. You absolutely refuse to let your characters lose, and will make sure they get anything they need when they need it, even if it's fucking impossible. Yet, if anyone else does this shit, you get all pissy and complain about how unfair it is. Grow the fuck up!

STOP LYING AND PLAGIARIZING TO GET ATTENTION! You've lied about your gender, weight, job, home and even your fucking possessions if it'll get you a few "Ooo" and "Ahhs" from people. You've taken credit for other people's stuff to make yourself look cool. This shit has caught up to you before, yet you still keep doing it! You know, being your own person is NOT going to kill you! In fact, people will like you and trust you more if you don't rely on bullshit to make friends!

QUIT SHITTING ALL OVER PEOPLE WHO SUPPORT YOU! If someone offers you support in any way, shape, or form, your best bet is to accept it graciously, and maybe even help them out when things get rough for them. Turning around and stabbing them in the back when things get ugly is not going to impress them. Siding with a useless fucktard and chewing out a person who's actually helped you makes you look like a gigantic asshole. And you WONDER why people are getting cold towards you!

STOP BLAMING EVERYONE ELSE FOR THE BAD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE! You whine and bitch about how life's out to screw you over and you have no control over ANYTHING, boo hoo. Shut the fuck up. You know why things keep going bad for you? It's the stupid shit you do! Read all the things above, and tell me that's someone else's fault! It's NOT. No one's told you to act like a fuckwit. YOU chose to. You have control over your life, but you keep making stupid choices. STOP IT.
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#9d6725 ♦ 14784 (3180)
 
FUCK YOU SCHOOLS!!!! Thanks to all the tubby kids in America you decided birthday treats are no longer allowed for birthdays!!! No cupcakes! No candy!! What the hell is this world coming too? What's that??!? I can bring in fruit kabobs you say? How about you eat my ass with a spoon? What kid wants to celebrate their birthday with fucking FRUIT KABOBS? Thanks for making our children's special day VEGAN. JESUS. Just because we are not overweight doesn't mean we should all be punished!!! And BTW, what the fuck is up with forcing the kids to sell candy and cakes for the fundraiser? They can sell it but they can't eat it??!! If you don't want America's children to be fat then quit putting fucking pizza, ice cream and waffles on the school menu. DUH. And not being able to pass out bday invites at school because it will hurt someones feelings?? Are you fucking kidding me? Boo-fucking-hoo! I didn't always get an invite either but I GOT OVER IT.

Also, let me just shout out a BIG congrats to all the fools at school who are trying to force our children to be invalids. YOU get a trophy!! YOU get a trophy!! And so do YOU (I have no idea what you did to deserve it, but fuck it! Here ya go!!!) Lets make everything fair!! SERIOUSLY?? What is this shit all about?? What happened to being rewarded for some REAL fucking hard work!!? What's the point of even trying if your going to be rewarded for not doing anything? What is this? OBAMAsocialistBULLSHIT. That's what. We can all look forward to aging with a country being run amok by adults who, as children, always had someone wiping their ass and making sure feelings aren't being hurt and handing them a trophy for doing SQUAT. YOUR DOING THE CHILDREN OF THIS COUNTRY A HUGE DISSERVICE by not teaching them the value of hard work, and how to stand up for themselves, and how to enjoy a piece of fucking birthday cake on their special day. FACK!!!

Carry on...
5 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
sorry guy.
id#debaa6 ♦ 8485 (2384)
 
Well thank fuck, you've finally quit after a year and a half of ass-kissing your way up the ranks to sous chef so you could be a rude, callous, useless, unprofessional shitstain just like your hero, that stupid manchild Gordon Ramsay. That "goodbye" letter you posted was good for a laugh, at least. "I never viewed myself as a superior, more as someone working alongside equals". Which is why you consistently treated people like shit, called people names straight to their face (yeah, I remember the "shithead" incident, fucko. Don't even try to to deny that's what you said to me.), threw violent temper tantrums over stupid shit and foisted off any work you could on people who were below your rank because "it's not our job", right? That bit about "working alongside" people is a laugh too, considering you were the laziest, most useless piece of shit I've ever seen in my nine years at this company. When you weren't just kicking back and shooting the shit instead of doing prep work for thirty minutes at a time, you were always downstairs playing Farmville on company computers, checking Facebook on your cellphone or just taking six or seven twenty-minute smoke breaks every single day. But if I take a break for five minutes to get some fresh air and relieve some stress, you were always there to bust my ass and whip cardboard boxes at the back of my head under the excuse of "not seeing me".

The rest of the letter is mostly just you ass-kissing every single other person there in the hopes that they'll give you a recommendation at whatever job you sleaze your way into next. Totally laughable. I can only hope that wherever you end up, you crash and burn hard because your drinking buddies aren't there to cover for you and pick up all your slack (or just foist it off on me instead). Not that it matters much - considering your chain smoking and the fact that you get about as much exercise as a constipated sloth, you'll be dead within the next three years anyway. Good riddance.
2 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#e4eb64 ♦ 8631 (2442)
 
If you're going to sing horribly off-key and whistle at ear-splitting volume EVERY MINUTE OF ALL FUCKING DAY every single day you work here, can you at least get a bigger repertoire than one single verse of the same five shit 80s songs? God damn.
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
pages, dick:
3 - 2 - 1... older birds

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screw you, pal is some dumb thing from two dudes. one dude coded it. the other supplied ideas while under the influence.
© those two dudes 2010-2017.
by ✂ czr media

8:57:52 pm, monday, october 23rd, 2017 cdt in 8.294 seconds.

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