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cut the crap, i want to flip the bird.
vent, bitch, and moan flipping a digital, written bird.
you're digging on the religion tag.
id#152026 ♦ 7331 (2098)
You know, I really shouldn't dread visiting with family. Actually, NOBODY should. But, it seems there's always that one relative (or several of them!) who makes you reach for the nearest bottle of 140 proof booze when they say "I'm coming for a visit!" Some people might wonder "How much of an insensitive prick are you that you don't even want to visit with your own family?!" Well, here's a list of the shit us "insensitive pricks" go through!

- The religious nuts! While they visit, they WILL try to start a "discussion" about how their religion is the BEST FUCKING ONE OUT THERE and how every other religion is utter heathen shit. Your opinion is trash if it's even slightly different from what the latest religious trend is, even if their info is from a scammer, parody website, or mindless fantards. Of course, they make their religion look fucking awful. And they wonder how some people can be agnostic or atheist!

- The "successful" snobs! It's such a fucking joy when these relatives visit. At some point, they WILL point out what a failure you are, either with insults, passive-aggressive bullshit, or comparisons to their other family members or friends. If you're not driving a $100 000 car and living in a huge house like Auntie Mina, you are SHIT. If you're not the manager of the local Starbucks and raising 6 kids in a trailer like Cousin Babette, you're stupid.

- The shit disturbers! During their visits, they go out of their way to make everyone totally fucking miserable: they show no respect for your possessions; they try to turn people against each other; they complain about everything; they ignore certain people for no good reason; they intentionally try to fuck up your work schedule; they let the kids draw on the walls with permanent markers and crayons. Hell, there's more they can do, but they always try to save one new stunt for their next visit.

- The snoops! If your stuff's not under lock, key, fireproof safe, and machine gun guard, it's fair game! These relatives go through your mail, your collections, your clothes, your "personal" items, your medicine cabinet, and whatever the fuck they feel like. They do not give one shit if it's confidential or personal. Sometimes, they'll even bring up their finds with other people. And heaven forbid you dig through their stuff, because they will tear your fucking head off if you do.

- The thieving bastards! Any time they visit, something will go missing from your home. It could be money, jewelry, books, toys, whatever. And if you call them on it, they will pitch a HUGE fucking tantrum. Of course, their immediate family will spring to their defense, and accuse you of misplacing things, because their sweetie would NEVER steal anything. And you wouldn't call the cops on family...would you?

- The surprise! They don't announce their visit until they're at your door or a close-by airport, bus depot, or ferry station. Of course, it's always when you have plans of your own and did not want to have any company at the time. But, that's okay! You're all family, and it'll be a fucking WONDERFUL visit if the surprise visitor is any (or SEVERAL) of the above types!

People try to be nice to these relatives in their families, so don't you fucking call them insensitive! And I KNOW you have at least one annoying/asshole relative in your family who makes you think "FUUUUCK, HOW LONG UNTIL THIS VISIT IS OVER?!" If you don't, it's because you're a little kid, a liar, or a lucky bastard.
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
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dig our: dumb twitter/sweet tumblr

screw you, pal is some dumb thing from two dudes. one dude coded it. the other supplied ideas while under the influence.
© those two dudes 2010-2017.
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2:12:34 am, wednesday, june 28th, 2017 cdt in 0.377 seconds.

a cherry