Hey hobos: blow it out your ass. It's time to upgrade your game. Loitering around a gas station like an awkward teen trying to ask a girl to prom is not the way to get my money or free food. This doesn't mean be an aggressive dick, either. I don't need your bullshit, so earn not only your cash but my fucking time.

You can't guilt me assholes. Play me a rad tune. Offer me creative services like "a real-deal, serious high five" or "real cred in the hobo community, I know all the real players." Be funny. Just be different. I want to feel like you've decided to be a hobo because you make good money at it. If you're a hobo because you're a loser and act like a loser, fuck you. Eat a dick. Quit freaking people out.

And if you're in a running car, you don't need my money, fucker. I can throw mud on my car, dump trash in the back seat, and not shower too douchebag.