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cut the crap, i want to flip the bird.
vent, bitch, and moan flipping a digital, written bird.
don't understand what the hell is going on? this might help.
id#d059e3 ♦ 608 (243)
 
one of the kid at my high school told the girl i was trying to get with that i liked her then(she friend zoned me) he goes on to point out how much she doesn't like me for the past week saying things like "she would have never dated you anyways" and "i told you she didn't like you" this was a guy i asked to "wingman" for me FML.
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
pussy.
id#baa964 ♦ 2225 (706)
 
You know why you don't get any relaxation or alone time? It's because your time management skills fucking SUCK. Yes, I understand you've got to work long hours on some days, but that's no fucking excuse. You get weekends and public holidays off 100% of the time. There are days you get home early, and you have access to vacation days. So, what do you do with extra time that comes your way? You find more fucking work to do! And some of it is massive projects you leap at without a thought. Then, you get pissy and miserable when you don't get any time to relax because you have to work. Guess fucking what? Not our fault!

You've got family living with you, for fuck's sake! If you need help, how about you ask them for some? And no, I don't mean pulling this passive-aggressive martyr hinting shit. We've been sick of that for a long time now. No one here can read your mind, so stop fucking expecting us to! When you put on a happy face and act as if things are fine, how are we supposed to know what you want? If you need help, you can damned well ask for it. Don't play mind games. Don't be passive-aggressive. SAY WHAT YOU FUCKING WANT!

And stop bitching us out over lateness, procrastination, or whatever the fuck else you're displeased with. You're guilty as all hell of doing that shit yourself! For someone who bitches at us about being late and putting things off, you sure as fuck don't lead by example. You're almost always late for work. You put things off until the very last minute, then freak out when it you can't rush them to completion. And if it wasn't for me being a jobless mooch (you want to say it; I know), you wouldn't even get some of that shit done.

What are those words, again? Oh, yeah. Grow the fuck up.
1 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
sorry guy.
id#854e25 ♦ 3249 (920)
 
Dear [REJECTED APPLICANT NAME HERE],

Thank you for attending our interview at the ass-crack of dawn on a day you have to work, especially in light of our unwillingness to reschedule to a more convenient time for you. Unfortunately, at this time you do not meet the minimum requirements for the position, noted below.

Psychopathy - You are not a certified sociopath who would stab his coworker or even his own mother in the back for personal gain. This is an undesirable trait in today's competitive work environment.

Con Artistry - You do not have the ability to convincingly lie in order to answer questions irrelevant to the position asked during the interview, nor to convince us that it would be worth the effort to take time out from our busy daily schedule of playing Farmville and masturbating to Fox News to fill out a form that would enable you to work a shift where we would rarely interact anyway. Nor did you come across to us as someone who would be fun to go drinking with on a nightly basis. This is an undesirable trait in our office politics.

Legal Record - Your legal record is sickeningly clean, not even so much as a ticket for jaywalking, and that your credit record is equally spotless. This is problematic because it indicates that you do not spend every dime to your name on weekly cocaine, mushrooms, marijuana, ice, heroin and/or alcoholic benders. This is detrimental to office politics as our sole management tactic is getting dusted out of our minds, writing down ideas on the corkboard and throwing a dart to find out the way in which we'll screw over our employees next. Being equally inebriated and hopelessly addicted to numerous illegal substances will ensure that you are less likely to object to this method of management.

Minimum 2 Years Experience - You lack the required experience for the position, despite it being listed as an entry level position with no experience required. As stated, we simply cannot be bothered to take time out of our busy schedule of playing Farmville and sitting through a meeting every other week in order to assign someone to train you in the highly complex art of pushing a broom. After all, we kissed mountains of ass and knifed dozens of people in the back to get to our comfy thrones in middle management, what would people think if they saw us with a broom in our hands?

Social Security Number - You failed to include this on your application. Whilst it is not a legal requirement to include this on a job application, it is a requirement that you include it on our online electronic application, conveniently designed to bypass said law via a convenient loophole, in order to pass the first page. This enables us to open several lines of credit in your name for self-indulgent Amazon.com shopping sprees. In the event such activities are reported to the proper authorities, we can then conveniently falsify network logs in order to shift the blame onto one of the office's hired patsies who will take the fall in our stead. This is the reason why we never have a menial entry level office job listed as "occupied" for longer than the span of two months.

Desired Wage - You not only listed it above our country's appallingly low minimum wage, but more than 0.25 cents above because, quote unquote, "you do not desire to live off of McDonalds nor reside in a garbage can". This shows a neglectful attitude toward our company's ideals and a distinct lack of respect for the United States of America, as paying anything resembling a livable wage would cause our workers to live past the age of thirty-five. This in turn would drive up the unemployment rate as new workers enter the work force, overpopulate the country, cause more people to request unemployment insurance, and lead us to economic collapse. It would also ensure personal expenditures for us, your almighty overlords, during our daily controlled substance benders, as already mentioned.

Thank you for applying with Fucksville Inc., and have a nice day.

- Dipshit Williams
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#43ac40 ♦ 7480 (1882)
 
My bitch roommate ignores everything I say, just says, "Mmmhmm, yea, sure, wait what?" While looking at her FUCKING COMPUTER. Seriously, fucking puppies in coffee cups on buzzfeed or whatever you spend your stupid ass time doing is more important than anything I have to say ever. I would rather you just ignore me entirely or say you can't talk right now than your constant "right, mmhmm, yea"'s. It makes me feel like shit. UGH
5 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
sorry guy.
id#b5518b ♦ 7637 (1935)
 
Your computer's doing crazy shit?! Oh fucking no! Better call up your friends to take you to a store to get a temporary NEW one. Aw, fuck it. Whenever you need ANYTHING done, just call them up to drive you around or do other things your gaming buddies can't do. And don't worry about any sort of compensation, either! It's not like gas, sleep, or time are that important to them! And we all know money is real fucking tight for you. The necessities of a new computer, games, game systems, fancy phone, junk food and partying with pretend friends are super important.

Are you fucking serious? How do you even afford all that shit if money's a problem for you? Actually, WHY is money a problem? You were talking so much about a NICE chunk o' cash heading your way! If that did happen, what the fuck is the problem, then? Get your car fixed, or find a cheap used one! Get your computer looked at before you drop money on a new one for short term use! Cut back on the junk food and games! How do you think everyone else saves money when shit gets difficult?

We don't mind helping you. Really. What's pissing us off is that you keep dicking around and making excuses for it!
1 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#43f3d3 ♦ 8190 (2016)
 
So a couple days ago this guy randomly breaks up with me just because he said he doesnt like the fact its a long distance relationship. I was putting in my 100 where was his? I freaking loved the guy. I mean Id do anything for him. We only stay 9 hours from each other not like he cant come see me or I cant go see him. I mean come on the mother fucker can drive!!! So after breaking up with me every time I post a status on FB he likes it. Like bitch get the fuck on. How you gone play with my emotions then act like nothing ever happened? So now after four days he has a girlfriend. Shit pisses me off cause not only is it someone Iv heard of its the same fucking girl that was trying to him to leave me for her when we first got together. Right now Im in one of those moods where I could just shank him. I mean come if you didnt want me in the first place why the fuck would you get with me? After telling me all this shit like you were gone make it work and you loved me I couldnt give two flying fucks about you now. Wait I take that back. I still have feelings for you. It hurts so fucking bad I cry at night. But you dont give two shits. Fuck you you fucked up two faced bastard. I hope you have a happy life with the little bitch... Yet as Im saying this I still wanna say I love you. Looks like I was just wasting my damn time. Dumb ass mother fucker. Shit faced jerk ass. Piss for brains dick face. I fucking hate you. 50% of the time. Oh looke there you go ringing up my phone. Bitch ass Mr.Foster.........
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(click a number, dingus.)
sorry guy.
id#16a654 ♦ 10076 (2364)
 
Yes, I'm aware I should get a fucking job. Stop the fucking nagging and getting other people to join in. If it's THAT important, then how about you drop one into my lap, before I drop a deuce in yours? What's easy for you isn't easy for everyone else.

First off, I'll need to get one of those SSN things so I can be properly fist-fucked up the ass by the government like everyone else. Then, I'll need to find a place that I can actually apply at. I've been looking, and holy fuckshit, what a disaster! Most of these places won't even fucking consider you unless you lie on the online application, or have several years of experience! Companies say they want honest answers on their online forms, but honest answers on some questions gets your application sent to the trash. This "YOU NEED EXPERIENCE" thing is bullshit, too. Moving shit, stocking shelves, scanning barcodes and pushing buttons requires experience now? What the fuck happened to employee training?

If I actually do get to apply somewhere, there's the fucking job interviews to deal with. Motherfucking balls, I HATE job interviews with a passion. It's always the same "Please sit down and answer these questions that tell us fuck all about how you'll actually do the job. We won't mention some of them aren't even relevant to the position you're applying for." It's a fucking sickening feeling botching an interview, only to know some fuckwit with great ass-kissing or bullshitting skills could get it. It's even worse seeing complete assholes get these jobs. These "workers" almost constantly fuck around, fuck up, or just fuck off when they want because they don't feel like working.

To top things off, I'm not a people person. I never have been, and the retail job I had just made me extra bitter. Hell, even hanging out for a few hours with people I know leaves me feeling incredibly tired and worn out. I'm on the shy side, and being shit on and judged my whole life over stupid things hasn't helped. The fact that people like you expect me to crap out some extroversion and get over it also doesn't help. I've actually tried that, and I get shit on even more.

So, just fuck off with the nagging and the pressure. It does fuck all to help me get a job, and just makes me feel worse.
3 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#8c166d ♦ 11049 (2458)
 
FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCKING DOGFUCKERS.
Why the fuck dont any of you explain yourselves clearly and precisely?
Why do you all get to bitch and complain about your petty nigger problems, but when i try to explain Why i am limited by my PTSD, Autism, insomnia and joint/back pain, things i have always been suffering from, i am just making excuses, i am just being a bitch, do i say heartless things to you when you whine about your selfish shitty little lives where you constantly pull money from your wallets and say your broke, bug when i open my empty wallet and ask for some money for food. You spit in my face and say to get a job or go beg on the street? Why the fuck is everyone exactly the same, why the fuck is it whenever people say they can "line it all up" to gef me a job i travel across the country obly to find i need a new resume, that i gave to do every bit of work that you said you would help with. Why is it that everyplace i end up staying imposes stupid micromanaging rules on me but when i ask nicely unlike any of you kikes you shake your fucking head and ignore my request like im telling you to jerk me off? At every given moment ive onlh tried to limit my stress. And keep everyone else happy, but its never enough for you. I SLINK AROUND EVERY PLACE SO MUCH MY NECK IS HURTING 24/7 I CANT EVEN STAND UP STRAIGHT BECAUSE IM ALWAYS WEIGHED DOWN BY YOUR JUDGEMENTAL EYES THAT YOU THINK I CANT SEE. I AM HYPERSENSITIVE AND YOU TRYING TO HIDE YOUR DISPOSITION IS A SLAP IN MY FACE. NONE OF YOU FAGGOTS CAN SEE THAT IVE BUILT MY ENTIRE LIFE AROUND GIVING AND NEVER TAKING, I ONLY TAKE ENOUGH TO SURVIVE WHILE YOU FUCKINGCWHORES TAKE EVERY DOLLAR I HAVE IN "PAYMENT" FOR ME DOING 75% OF THE CHORES, FOR ME TRYIMG TO HELP AND GET -YOUR- STUPID SHIT DONE WITHOUT HAVING A MOMENF OR TWO TO MYSELF, NOT EVEN WATCHING THE TV OR MOVIES LOUD ENOUGH FOR ME TO HEAR BECAUSE IF YOU HEAR IT EVEN A TINY BIT IM A PIECE OF SHIT THATS DEAF AS FUCK, WHY DO YOU INVITE ME TO YOUR HOUSE THEN TELL ME YOUR WIFE DOESNT WANT ME HERE. WHY DO ALL OF YOU DRINK AND SMOKE WHILE I COUGH AND HAVE ASTHMA ATTACKSTHEN TELL ME I NEED TO BE OFF MY WEED FOR 15 WEEKS SO I CAN GET A.JOB YOU NEVER HAD SET UP FOR ME IN THE FIRST PLACE. Why do none of you care in the slightest buf do the absolute minimum, and wonder why im so depressed and crusterated. knowing i have anxiety OCD and stress disorders, and social ineptitude? You all will die someday. I will outlive you if the pressure on my head hasnt damaged my brain permanently. Then i will dance on your graves and burn the houses of your offspring to the ground while you watch life through my eyes so god or satan can force you to see how honest i have always been. - abit of stress relief from a good natured wuffwuff
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(click a number, dingus.)
holy shit dude.
id#7f5216 ♦ 10508 (2448)
 
Just another pile of motherfucking shit...

"Bullying is unacceptable. We must stop it! But, don't stand up to a bully, because that makes you a horrible person who needs to be shit on! You should talk things out nicely with bullies, or ignore them! And really, if you can't take hurtful insults, you're just a wimpy little pussy who needs to man up." What the fuck is this bullshit?! People aren't allowed to fight back, protect themselves or have feelings anymore? I guess not, because that stuff is BAD. It's far better to let people act like assholes and give them a slap on the wrist for it!

"Life isn't fair. But, that's okay! Just file bullshit complaints or lawsuits, and be an asshole until you get what you want! We'll cater to the incompetent, ignorant, and idiotic!" This shit happens way too often. Employee couldn't read your mind when you specifically wanted him to? Get him fired because "he was mean to you." Spill a hot drink on yourself because you decided to hold it in your lap while you drove? Sue the company who gave you the drink because "it was too hot." Your kids saw BAD SHIT in a videogame because you were too "busy" to check the rating? Whine and bitch endlessly about how "bad and unhealthy" videogames are!

"If you're making record profits, that's not enough! Make sure you screw your employees and customers to make more money." Some companies actually believe minimum wage is sufficient, and anyone who needs more doesn't know how to budget properly. Some companies also believe they can churn out nothing but crap without pissing people off. I think these companies can go fuck themselves! What next? Employees don't need vacation time and customers don't matter at all? Fuck that!

The fuck is this world coming to?
1 votes say:
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
id#2e4b3e ♦ 10864 (2535)
 
My Goddamn head hurts! This is the third one this week. Fuck you, brain!
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(click a number, dingus.)
man that sucks.
pages, dick:
23 - 22 - 21 - 20 - 19 - 18 ... 1... older birds

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screw you, pal is some dumb thing from two dudes. one dude coded it. the other supplied ideas while under the influence.
© those two dudes 2010-2014.

10:33:49 pm, thursday, april 17th, 2014 cdt in 4.71 seconds.

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